Are We Still Stuck in the Past? Ancient Ideals and the Modern Man

It is estimated that Homo sapiens (today’s humans) emerged around 300,000 years ago in Africa. Homo sapiens was the most intelligent race amongst the other races of humans and was gifted with better emotionally intelligent brains and logical capabilities. Back then, food was not readily available, unlike today. Our ancestors had to hunt for food and clothes and live in caves. The work distribution back then was quite similar to today's. Males used to hunt, and females used to take care of the prodigies. Males had to hunt and fight for food, which ultimately resulted in a practical type of brain setting. Females used to take care of the food and the younger ones, so the females' brains developed emotional intelligence. As time passed, these mental attitudes started defining that specific gender.

Till today, men never got a chance to develop emotional intelligence like women, and this resulted in mindset clashes between the two genders. Reports say that women are empathetic, while on the other hand, men are traditionally encouraged to suppress emotions, which is the main reason behind the underdevelopment of emotional intelligence. As a result, men score high on emotional regulation (controlling and hiding their feelings).

Not all men lack emotional intelligence; in fact, gaining emotional intelligence has become a professional course now. If you are a man and you feel that you’re unable to understand your partner, which has become the cause of fights between you and your partner, professional help is available; it is a must to reach out for it. According to the National Health Survey of India 2019–2021, around 29.3% of married Indian women between the ages of 18 and 49 have experienced domestic violence, and 3.1% of pregnant women in the same age group have experienced physical violence. 

Less impulse control, a high temper, and a lack of understanding are the main reasons why some men indulge in domestic violence. I’m not defending that they are less responsible for the heinous crimes they have committed, but domestic violence is the biggest example of some men lacking emotional intelligence. Domestic violence is a too-exaggerative example. Simple examples that we observe in our day-to-day lives are the inability of a man to understand what a woman wants, not sharing his feelings with anybody sometimes, not even with trusted ones, killing the idea of opening up to someone several times, confusion of how to react if any woman asks anything randomly, confusion of how to interpret some actions of the opposite gender, and the list goes on. 

So, what’s the solution to this disease? The most effective cure for this is to reconsider the idea that opening up to someone equals weakness. To crush that male attitude and talk to somebody or cry if you want. To seek professional help if needed. Practicing healthy coping mechanisms such as journaling, relaxation techniques, positive thinking, and talking to a trusted person partially solves the problem. It is reported that men have around the same levels of stress as women, and every year, the rate of suicide in men is way higher than that in women. At last, asking for help is not a sign of weakness but an effort to forge ahead of the weakness.

- Soham Sonar